Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Inside Out by Mars Ill

This is a wonderful song by one of my favorite rap groups Mars Ill. I love songs/poems that tell stories, especially stories that show redemption. I hope you find something in these lyrics that speak to your soul.


Inside Out
Mars Ill 

[Verse 1]
Building in a cell block, shocked at the mystery
Unlocked the misery kept inside his body's chemistry
And when he's by himself, he has to cry to keep on living
Reads letters from his children from far outside the prison
And it isn't enough that he didn't pull that trigger
Just a neighborhood fixture on the corner drinking liquor
A two-time offender who got caught up in the moment
Was close by when a robbery was operated sloppily
And somebody got shot and son was fingered in the line-up
Tossed into a 6x9, stuck because his time's up
Fine luck, had to beat a brother on his first day
To protect his own best interest in like the worst way
Blames the system that built jails instead of schools
Blames religion as a set of useless rules
Blames his father that he never even knew
Looks in the mirror. Yeah, he blames him too...

[Verse 2]
He starts to read books, an empowered resolution
Malcolm, Dr. King, Mumia and Huey Newton
Learns that nothing worth having is ever gon' be easy
He studies philosophy while everyone's watching TV
And after 33 weeks, he starts to do the science
Sees God's handwriting there underneath the fine print
It had been there all along just waiting for him to find it
But he'd been blinded by his time spent trying to fight it
But the spark ignited the fuel inside him
And now he holds the flame that burns the brightest
Because the slightest touch from the heavens can heavily change the tides
Or tip the scales to either side of the problems in our lives
He found faith in a cage and his mind's already free
And he can float through these walls far beyond what he can see
He sees his cell as a cross that he'll carry if need be
But of course his body wants to join his soul and be free...

[Verse 3]
So he's a new man, motivated to slice through the hatred
And radiate to those that play with death and want to take his breath
He'll make each step count for something greater
Understands that he can hate the game and still love the players
He shares his cell with another one-strike-too-many-type of Jon Doe
Who wants his rights back though
The conversation words flow and get kind of thorough
And it just so happens that they're from the same borough
From the same neighborhood, from off the same freeway
From the same ghetto and from the same PJ's
And Jon Doe knows how his situation started
How kids were busting shots at their local supermarket
On that one fateful night that changed our hero's life
And how he got knocked wrongfully and how it isn't right
But strangely, our man is calm and doesn't lose sight
He knows that he was broken so that he could find Christ
And for that he's thankful, no shank pulled got him
He's never felt so high while he was standing at the bottom
And after six months, a judge heard his appeal
Released into a city that becomes his mission field
He pulls a free breath that feels fresh despite all the smog
He used to hit the bottle but now he fights for God
And since he's seen it all, he can say what it's about
And to think this all started from the inside out...

Monday, October 4, 2010

Entering through walls

I give up
I have had it

I keep telling myself that
when the time is right
he will enter
the man of my dreams

but then I try to make
something out of nothing
make him enter through the wall

someone can't enter where
there is no entrance

I can't force a door to form in my life
I can't make love happen
I have to simply enjoy the ride
until it finds me

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Below is the link for the article "The F Word" by Daphne Merkin. The article is about America's (and the worlds) fear of flesh. Interesting read.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/t-magazine/22face-merkin-t.html

Saturday, July 3, 2010

A Poem of Someday...

There is a gaping hole
in the middle of my life
you would fit there perfectly

Our hands they would fit
like pieces of a puzzle
of the thousand piece variety

Parts of me would
compliment parts of you
we would work like a chemical reaction

Each piece of ourselves
would fit like bricks
building loves foundation

Our souls would latch and connect
turning to each other
entering a room causing the world to shift

You would love my quirks
I would thrive in your differences
finding the perfect balance in each other

When we slept
out bodies would fit together
like gloves; cozy and warm

And when we grew old
the wrinkles wouldn't make a difference
your face would still make my heart beat faster

When death finally took one
the other would surely follow suit
soon after

Aggravated and Waiting

This is a note for those who might read this post: This is me venting, getting stuff off my chest. So if you want to read it that is okay. If you want to skip out on my pity party that's okay too.

I have been looking for a car for over a year and with little luck. My major problem is I don't have that much money and I'm not very comfortable getting a loan. I thought I had found the perfect car. It was the size that I wanted, around a price I could afford, and it didn't hurt that it was a Subaru. Then I had my uncle do a pre-purchase inspection. There went that option. It was going to cost more to fix the car than it was going to cost to buy it. This is when I started having daily ranting sessions with God. My one question is why?

I have also been looking for someway to make money for the summer. Seeing as there are a lot of things I need for my apartment this next school year it would be great if I could find one. Besides, my family can't help me buy everything that I need. Thankfully I have found quite a bit of free stuff for my kitchen. I have been scouring the local papers for job listings and have found nothing. Most of the jobs advertised require more than a years experience or a degree in that field. I stopped my internship search at the beginning of the summer because there aren't many options in this corner of Colorado, and people never called me back, no matter how often I called them.

To say the least I have been discouraged and aggravated for most of the summer. My family has always had a hard time. Money isn't something we have lying around to spend on anything we please. And I already have more than a few thousand dollars worth of school loans to worry about. So I just keep praying that something will show up. If someone would give me their car that would be great. If I could find someway to make money that would be even better.

I also miss my friends dearly. I will see some of them this summer for a day or two and some of them I will see in the fall. But I miss them all nonetheless.

I have to keep reminding myself that God knows what my future holds and no matter how impatient I get or no matter how aggravated I feel it will all work out for the best.

Lord, help me to trust you and believe you will provide my needs. I love you Jesus.