Saturday, July 3, 2010

A Poem of Someday...

There is a gaping hole
in the middle of my life
you would fit there perfectly

Our hands they would fit
like pieces of a puzzle
of the thousand piece variety

Parts of me would
compliment parts of you
we would work like a chemical reaction

Each piece of ourselves
would fit like bricks
building loves foundation

Our souls would latch and connect
turning to each other
entering a room causing the world to shift

You would love my quirks
I would thrive in your differences
finding the perfect balance in each other

When we slept
out bodies would fit together
like gloves; cozy and warm

And when we grew old
the wrinkles wouldn't make a difference
your face would still make my heart beat faster

When death finally took one
the other would surely follow suit
soon after

Aggravated and Waiting

This is a note for those who might read this post: This is me venting, getting stuff off my chest. So if you want to read it that is okay. If you want to skip out on my pity party that's okay too.

I have been looking for a car for over a year and with little luck. My major problem is I don't have that much money and I'm not very comfortable getting a loan. I thought I had found the perfect car. It was the size that I wanted, around a price I could afford, and it didn't hurt that it was a Subaru. Then I had my uncle do a pre-purchase inspection. There went that option. It was going to cost more to fix the car than it was going to cost to buy it. This is when I started having daily ranting sessions with God. My one question is why?

I have also been looking for someway to make money for the summer. Seeing as there are a lot of things I need for my apartment this next school year it would be great if I could find one. Besides, my family can't help me buy everything that I need. Thankfully I have found quite a bit of free stuff for my kitchen. I have been scouring the local papers for job listings and have found nothing. Most of the jobs advertised require more than a years experience or a degree in that field. I stopped my internship search at the beginning of the summer because there aren't many options in this corner of Colorado, and people never called me back, no matter how often I called them.

To say the least I have been discouraged and aggravated for most of the summer. My family has always had a hard time. Money isn't something we have lying around to spend on anything we please. And I already have more than a few thousand dollars worth of school loans to worry about. So I just keep praying that something will show up. If someone would give me their car that would be great. If I could find someway to make money that would be even better.

I also miss my friends dearly. I will see some of them this summer for a day or two and some of them I will see in the fall. But I miss them all nonetheless.

I have to keep reminding myself that God knows what my future holds and no matter how impatient I get or no matter how aggravated I feel it will all work out for the best.

Lord, help me to trust you and believe you will provide my needs. I love you Jesus.