Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Let it all go?

Two mornings ago I woke up two hours before my alarm was supposed to go off with a poem coursing through my brain. I couldn't let the words get away from me so I poured them out into the notebook I keep by my bed for such occasions. At first I didn't even turn a light on afraid that any action other than picking up the pen and notebook would brush the words from my mind. When the first bit of thought poured out onto the paper I felt that I could turn the lights on the get the rest of it out. I ended up writing 2 1/2 poems that morning before returning to my bed to catch a little bit more rest. 

Is it possible that if we do the same when we are feeling weighed down with the things that haunt us the things that we hide from others and sometimes ourselves that we will be able to sleep better? Is it possible that if we get the things that haunt us out in the open that our lives will be free of the guilt and pain that we carry around with us? Why does it seem that so many times when people start to talk about the things that they are going through that might not be what we would call good news we suddenly want to change the subject and discuss happier things? We don't want to touch the bad things the dirty things that rule our lives. Because we don't want to admit that we aren't perfect that we struggle with stuff that everyone else suffers with. But I think that if we get this junk off our chest, out of our heads, off our hearts we will be able to rest easier and be able to talk to each other more freely and not feel as if we have to hide parts of ourselves from others fearing that we will be looked at differently or that people won't be able to look at us at all because of what they know. That might be the case for some people that you know, but the ones that matter will be there for you when you need them. I hope that I can soon get it all off my chest and be able to live freely from what haunts me.  

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